No. 73

Prompt: Leverage, Eliot Spencer(+/Any), It shouldn't be but somehow it's still surprising that Eliot makes a good enough interior designer to make the target couple stop fighting and actually pick out goddamned curtains
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/690442.html?thread=90814986#t90814986

Sophie thought it was patently unfair that she had to tag along while Parker and Hardison went house-shopping because Parker could not be trusted alone with Hardison's credit card. If both Hardison and Eliot were along, why couldn't they supervise her?

Possibly because Eliot looked ready to murder something while Hardison and Parker argued about curtains. Hardison thought they should special-order some curtains online that would prevent anyone from using parabolic microphones on their home. Parker thought they should special-order curtains from somewhere else online that sold curtains that could be used as escape routes for the pro thief in an emergency situation. But she wanted to look at colors here, because the curtains from that web site were very customizable, compared to the ugly curtains Hardison wanted.

This was their special house, their first one together as the new team. Parker wanted their home to be perfect. Hardison wanted it to be safe.

"Enough!" Eliot roared, and everyone in the massive showroom fell silent.

Hardison actually looked afraid. Parker rolled her eyes.

"Like you know how to pick out curtains."

Eliot pushed past the arguing couple and stomped over to a window display. "Look, this is the type of window in the living room. You have to get an upholstered valance as well as curtains or the window will look too stark. The color you've picked for the walls is pale, and you'll need to get a darker version of the same color as an accent or a darker version of an appropriately contrasting color. If you buy a souped-up version of these cords to tie the curtains back, they will serve as an escape route if necessary. You can buy the anti-surveillance curtains as a liner for these curtains so they're not an eyesore. But so help me if you get something ugly I will kill you both and no one will find your bodies."

Hardison and Parker fell into a contemplative silence.

Sophie pasted on her most winning smile and directed it at the nearest salesman, who looked ready to wet himself. "Can we get some assistance over here?"

"I like that idea," Parker said. "It works. But the color I was looking at wasn't all that ugly."

"Yes it was," Sophie said.

Hardison narrowed his eyes at Eliot. "How did you even know that?"

"Colors are all about context," Eliot began.

Parker threw a pillow at him.