Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #5

Sometimes you'll be sitting in a meeting talking about how glad you are that your client's grandfather is in prison, because finally he's pinned down to one place and the government can go get a DNA sample from him to find out, definitively, whether or not he is your client's biological father. And that won't be the worst thing you'll have to talk about in that case that day.

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #4

You can politic accidentally. They harp on networking from day one, and for those of us who are introverts or have social anxiety, networking sucks, and we're at a disadvantage. Networking, however, is not the same as politicking. That being said, we are taught to manipulate to get what we want. Turns out I can do that accidentally. Did it accidentally the other today, in an effort to protect my posting so I don't lose my court team in the shuffle. Walked away from the encounter both pleased and frightened.

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #3

Getting up in other people's relationship drama sucks. Divorce lawyers are always up in other people's relationship drama. I thought I was immune to it. But no. If foster parents are cheating on each other, I'm all up in that business. Also when my teenagers want to date and are not safe to, I am all up in that business too. Dating is a privilege, not a right. Trying to figure out how to get a stubborn kid to earn it is ridiculous.

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #2

It is impossible to look professional while choking on your breakfast smoothie after your client says, while you are mid-sip, "My knees were on your boobs!"

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #1

Child poop. Talking about child poop. Being enthusiastic about child poop. When child poop does or does not require ER intervention. How often children poop. The color of their poop. The consistency of their poop.

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School/TrueFacts

Here goes. Things they never taught me in law school but have somehow become par for the course in my legal practice (in no particular order).

And True Facts of life (also in no particular order).

In Child Welfare, at any rate.