True Facts #4

Wearing a suit to court does not automatically make you look classy and/or trustworthy. Suits trimmed with any kind of animal print will, however, make you look like a pimp and maybe like I shouldn't trust you with any of my kids.

True Facts #3

Smart criminals are typically a TV myth. If you get caught, you're stupid or unlucky or both. Usually stupid, though. If you're going to steal something from someone, do not then turn around and post that it is for sale on an Internet neighborhood yard sale site that serves the same neighborhood you stole the stuff from. If you do that, you will get caught, and we will cheer when they take you to jail, because we are cold, unfeeling people.

True Facts #2

If you're going to have an affair, don't do it with a foster parent, or the government will get all up in your business.

True Facts #1

Hey lady, if you're going to let your son do crack cocaine three times a day for six days in a row, the judge isn't going to let you keep him.

Things They Never Taught Me In Law School/TrueFacts

Here goes. Things they never taught me in law school but have somehow become par for the course in my legal practice (in no particular order).

And True Facts of life (also in no particular order).

In Child Welfare, at any rate.