No. 28

Prompt: Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne/David Parrish, Evan goes to David's quarters after they get back from stumbling upon the dead Wraith to make sure David is okay (S02E03, Runner).
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/702314.html?thread=92728682#t92728682

David knew he needed to schedule a time to see Heightmeyer. He was a soldier, not a scientist. He didn't deal with dead bodies. He didn't deal with bodies. He was a botanist. He was –
v He ran to the bathroom again, fell to his knees, retched up bile because his stomach was already empty. He brushed his teeth again – and Ancient bathrooms were so tiny but so water-efficient and a hydroponic garden using this tech – and he went back to his room. Sat down on the edge of his bed.

Closed his eyes.

Saw the desiccated corpse.

Opened his eyes again, breathing hard.

And there was a knock at the door.

Immediately David was on his feet, smoothing down his hair, fixing his shirt. He initiated the lock with one hand, prepared to see Kusanagi or Zelenka or Brown, ready with a cheerful smile.

It was Major Lorne.

"Dr. Parrish," he said, and had he always had such blue eyes? "I just wanted to make sure you're all right."

Kusanagi wouldn't have bought a smile, but she'd have given him props for trying and then given him some of her coveted red bean candy. But Lorne – David couldn't lose face in front of a soldier. Couldn't.

So he ratcheted up the brightness of his smile a notch and nodded. "I'm totally fine. Just fine. I was about to –"

His world tilted sideways. Oh! Oh. His knees were buckling. His vision was going spotty.

Warm hands clasped his shoulders, hauled him upright. Lorne walked him over to the bed, sat him carefully down on the edge of it, and then Lorne sat beside him. Lorne put an arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, breathe. It'll be all right. Do you need to throw up? I can carry you to the bathroom."

David was trying to breathe, but his lungs were on lockdown.

"Do you want me to call Heightmeyer? Or Beckett?" Lorne lifted a hand to his little radio, but David shook his head.

No. He could get through this. He had to.

"Aw, hell." Lorne dragged David close and held him tightly, rubbing a big warm hand up and down his back soothingly. "Hey. You're all right. You're gonna be okay. Probably not for a while, but it's gonna be okay."

"Not for a while?" David managed to gasp out.

"First time I saw a body like that, I puked, right then and there in front of Teal'c," Lorne said. "Alien planet. Mining outfit. I'm a surveyor, you know? That's how I got picked for the SGC. And the natives on the planet – Unas, giant reptilian bastards – they'd taken one of my guys and messed him up, then put his corpse up on display like some kind of fucked-up scarecrow. And when I saw his body – I lost it. Puked. Had nightmares for days. So if you need to puke, or you want me to get someone, I will. No judgment. Seriously."

Lorne's voice was low and steady, soothing. David could hear his heartbeat. If he breathed in time with Lorne's heartbeat, he felt better. Everything was okay. Not okay, but at least better. As long as he didn't close his eyes. As long as he didn't –

"It's okay," Lorne said again, and he smoothed a hand over David's hair, the gesture almost absent in its affection. "You're safe. You're alive."

David nodded fractionally. He could hold himself together as long as Lorne was holding him together. David reached out, curled his hand against Lorne's beating heart. Heard Lorne's breath hitch. David lifted his head, slid his hand higher to tangle his fingers in Lorne's hair and pull him down for a kiss – only his fingers tangled in the chain of Lorne's dogtags, and both of them froze.

"David," Lorne said gently, disentangling the chain from David's shaking hand, "if you want to do this, no one can know, and that's not fair to you. Right now you're in a very vulnerable place. If, after you've dealt with this trauma, you want to try again, and you're willing to do so in strict secrecy, let me know. Otherwise – otherwise I'll be here for you, and I'll lead our gate team as I always have. Okay?"

"Okay," David said, and closed his eyes, surrendering himself to the steady sound of Lorne's heartbeat.