Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #2
It is impossible to look professional while choking on your breakfast smoothie after your client says, while you are mid-sip, "My knees were on your boobs!"
Monday, June 20, 2016
True Facts #2
If you're going to have an affair, don't do it with a foster parent, or the government will get all up in your business.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
True Facts #1
Hey lady, if you're going to let your son do crack cocaine three times a day for six days in a row, the judge isn't going to let you keep him.
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Things They Never Taught Me In Law School #1
Child poop. Talking about child poop. Being enthusiastic about child poop. When child poop does or does not require ER intervention. How often children poop. The color of their poop. The consistency of their poop.
Friday, June 17, 2016
Things They Never Taught Me In Law School/TrueFacts
Here goes. Things they never taught me in law school but have somehow become par for the course in my legal practice (in no particular order).
And True Facts of life (also in no particular order).
In Child Welfare, at any rate.
And True Facts of life (also in no particular order).
In Child Welfare, at any rate.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
No. 52
Prompt: Stargate Atlantis, Any Wraith, John Sheppard has become part of Wraith mythology
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/717603.html?thread=94820899#t94820899
"Kenny," Bonewhite said.
Guide blinked at him. "What?"
"Kenny. It is the name John Sheppard gave me. You are Todd, and now I am Kenny."
Guide grunted and turned away, fiddling with the console some more, but Bonewhite knew, Guide was jealous. Unlike Michael, whose name had been bestowed upon him as a trick, Todd and Kenny had been given in camaraderie.
Bonewhite turned and swept out of the bridge, head held high.
Behind him, the other Wraith nudged each other and murmured, wondered: what would it take to earn a name from John Sheppard, the half-Ancestor with the fierce hair and the unquenchable will to live?
Meanwhile, back on Atlantis:
"Kenny? Really?" Rodney demanded. "What are you going to name the next Wraith we come across - Cartman? Kyle? Stan?"
"Cartman the Wraith has a nice ring to it," John said.
"Would that the Wraith died as easy as Kenny," Lorne muttered.
Teyla said, in an admirable imitation of Cartman, "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"
Lorne, John, and Rodney stared at her.
Teyla said, "Amelia shows me her cartoons sometimes."
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/717603.html?thread=94820899#t94820899
"Kenny," Bonewhite said.
Guide blinked at him. "What?"
"Kenny. It is the name John Sheppard gave me. You are Todd, and now I am Kenny."
Guide grunted and turned away, fiddling with the console some more, but Bonewhite knew, Guide was jealous. Unlike Michael, whose name had been bestowed upon him as a trick, Todd and Kenny had been given in camaraderie.
Bonewhite turned and swept out of the bridge, head held high.
Behind him, the other Wraith nudged each other and murmured, wondered: what would it take to earn a name from John Sheppard, the half-Ancestor with the fierce hair and the unquenchable will to live?
Meanwhile, back on Atlantis:
"Kenny? Really?" Rodney demanded. "What are you going to name the next Wraith we come across - Cartman? Kyle? Stan?"
"Cartman the Wraith has a nice ring to it," John said.
"Would that the Wraith died as easy as Kenny," Lorne muttered.
Teyla said, in an admirable imitation of Cartman, "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"
Lorne, John, and Rodney stared at her.
Teyla said, "Amelia shows me her cartoons sometimes."
Thursday, May 5, 2016
No. 51
Prompt: Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard+/Rodney McKay, Rodney's lemon allergy isn't the weirdest alley in the expedition. No, that would be John's. (Allergy up to author.)
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/716505.html?thread=94671577#t94671577
"Chocolate?" Rodney squawked. "Who the hell is allergic to chocolate?"
Sheppard shrugged and pushed his brownie across the table to Rodney. "That's what I thought the first time you told me you were allergic to citrus."
Now that contact with Earth had been re-established and the expedition was receiving regular supplies via the Daedalus, food from Earth that wasn't crappy MREs or half-assed attempts with Pegasus ingredients substituted in was back on the menu, and Rodney had missed his brownies fiercely.
"So, you eat chocolate and what, break out in hives?" Rodney dragged the brownie close and realized it must look like avarice, but really, he was protecting Sheppard.
"Nothing that extreme. I ingest chocolate, and I can't stand up for three days because my migraine is so bad. Can I have your lemon meringue?"
Rodney hadn't even noticed the KP marines had given him a slice of the lemon meringue pie. He practically flung it across the table. "Take it. It's yours."
"Awesome." Sheppard dug in happily, ignoring the rest of his dinner, because he believed in eating dessert first.
Rodney immediately had to rethink all of his fantasies of him and Sheppard in Sheppard's quarters, naked with nothing but a bottle of chocolate sauce. "So, have you ever eaten chocolate? Or were you so young when the allergy was discovered that you don't remember what it tastes like?"
"I was about...twenty when the base doc figured it out? Had migraines all the time, and it was messing with my training, so they futzed with my diet a whole bunch, and the culprit was...chocolate. So I remember what it tastes like. I miss it a whole lot, actually." Sheppard's expression turned dreamy.
Rodney wished Sheppard's expression would turn dreamy that way for him. "Oh. Well. There are plenty of non-chocolate sweet things to choose from, right?"
"Right." And Sheppard grinned at him.
Rodney wasn't sure what to think when Major Lorne, the new 2IC now that Ford was gone for good, stopped him in the hallway several weeks later.
"What can I do for you, Major?"
Lorne pressed a spray can of whipped cream into his hands and said, "Colonel Sheppard likes whipped cream for dessert." And then he winked and walked away.
Lorne was out of earshot before Rodney could make any sort of protest about privacy and personal boundaries, so he hurried back to his quarters with the can of whipped cream tucked into his jacket so no one would see it (because wouldn't that be weird, Dr. McKay taking a can of whipped cream to his room for some alone time).
Only when he initiated the lock for his quarters, he wasn't alone.
John Sheppard was lounging on his bed reading War and Peace, wearing nothing, and holding a jar of maraschino cherries. When he saw Rodney, he grinned.
http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/716505.html?thread=94671577#t94671577
"Chocolate?" Rodney squawked. "Who the hell is allergic to chocolate?"
Sheppard shrugged and pushed his brownie across the table to Rodney. "That's what I thought the first time you told me you were allergic to citrus."
Now that contact with Earth had been re-established and the expedition was receiving regular supplies via the Daedalus, food from Earth that wasn't crappy MREs or half-assed attempts with Pegasus ingredients substituted in was back on the menu, and Rodney had missed his brownies fiercely.
"So, you eat chocolate and what, break out in hives?" Rodney dragged the brownie close and realized it must look like avarice, but really, he was protecting Sheppard.
"Nothing that extreme. I ingest chocolate, and I can't stand up for three days because my migraine is so bad. Can I have your lemon meringue?"
Rodney hadn't even noticed the KP marines had given him a slice of the lemon meringue pie. He practically flung it across the table. "Take it. It's yours."
"Awesome." Sheppard dug in happily, ignoring the rest of his dinner, because he believed in eating dessert first.
Rodney immediately had to rethink all of his fantasies of him and Sheppard in Sheppard's quarters, naked with nothing but a bottle of chocolate sauce. "So, have you ever eaten chocolate? Or were you so young when the allergy was discovered that you don't remember what it tastes like?"
"I was about...twenty when the base doc figured it out? Had migraines all the time, and it was messing with my training, so they futzed with my diet a whole bunch, and the culprit was...chocolate. So I remember what it tastes like. I miss it a whole lot, actually." Sheppard's expression turned dreamy.
Rodney wished Sheppard's expression would turn dreamy that way for him. "Oh. Well. There are plenty of non-chocolate sweet things to choose from, right?"
"Right." And Sheppard grinned at him.
Rodney wasn't sure what to think when Major Lorne, the new 2IC now that Ford was gone for good, stopped him in the hallway several weeks later.
"What can I do for you, Major?"
Lorne pressed a spray can of whipped cream into his hands and said, "Colonel Sheppard likes whipped cream for dessert." And then he winked and walked away.
Lorne was out of earshot before Rodney could make any sort of protest about privacy and personal boundaries, so he hurried back to his quarters with the can of whipped cream tucked into his jacket so no one would see it (because wouldn't that be weird, Dr. McKay taking a can of whipped cream to his room for some alone time).
Only when he initiated the lock for his quarters, he wasn't alone.
John Sheppard was lounging on his bed reading War and Peace, wearing nothing, and holding a jar of maraschino cherries. When he saw Rodney, he grinned.